Metal As Fukk Band of the Week: Die Antwoord

Why worship these two pasty South African assholes that call themselves “Die Antwoord”? Here are nine Metal As Fukk reasons.

1. Their names are “Ninja” and “Yo-Landi Vi$$er.”

2. He looks like an extra from Breaking Bad. She looks like an underfed white trash spider monkey.

3. Lady Gaga fell in love with them and asked them to open her international tour. They responded with a FUKK YOU video of a male Gaga impersonator getting eaten by a lion, then getting prawns pulled out of his/her cooch.

4. Matt Damon’s role in Elysium was originally offered to Ninja. How much more Metal As Fukk would that movie have been? Ninja said “fukk no,” so they tried Eminem, who also said “fukk no.” Sure must suck to be Matt Damon…amirite?

5. They released their first album “$O$” for free because they don’t give a fukk about money. Then they gained an international cult following… and they still don’t give a fukk about money.

6. Die Antwoord’s musical/visual style is “Zef” culture. In Yo-Landi’s words: “it’s modern and trashy, appropriating out-of-date, discarded cultural elements… It’s associated with people who soup their cars up and rock gold and shit. Zef is, you’re poor but you’re fancy. You’re poor but you’re sexy, you’ve got style.” I just call that Tuesday, but thanks for putting a name to it, Yo.

7. In November 2011 they left a lucrative deal with Interscope. Yo-Landi said the label “kept pushing us to be more generic” in order to make more money: ” If you try to make songs that other people like, your band will always be shit. You always gotta do what you like. If it connects, it’s a miracle, but it happened with Die Antwoord.” So they made their own  label and said “fukk you” to corporate ‘Murrica.

8. Their native language is Afrikaans. And really shitty English. A recent facebook post to their fans read like this:

dearly BELOVED
yor boy NINJA spking
we bin tucked away in our zef lil temple of doom fucking wif dis DONKER MAG album 4 a lil bit now
it’s already like10 trax thick or summing an dis dark juice jus keeps gushing…
dis DM’s joints by far da illest shit we ever fucked wif handz down
i can’t fukn wait 4 it 2 pop
my rapping haz dived deep in2 a hole new level of lusssh…
dis DM album iz hard an dark an club an experimental an psychedelic an soft
an dreamy an stormy an pop an sexy az fuck!
dark future pop stylez
da DONKER MAG album cover/artwork iz getting did by my mos favrit artist on
da planet…u gonna fkn die!!!
bin waiting 2 work wif dis kid 4 soooooooo long!!!
secretsssecretsssecrets…so many secrets!!!
jus keeping u kidz in da loop…
need 2 fuck off now
keep it zef
ps: yo-landi says “i luf choooOOOOZzz!!!xxxX”

Did you gather 1 word from that? Me neither. How about this?

Don’t know. Don’t fukkin’ care.

9. People set fires at their shows and they find it cute. They posted a photo from a show in Russia where “sum1 let off a fkn rescue flare in da crowd at moscow mega club during baby’s on fire…. gotta love deze russianz xxx”.

-Compliments of Guest Contributor DAZEY FUKK

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