Metal As Fukk Things You Can Buy On SkyMall

Nothin’ like a little retail therapy to calm the nerves while you’re darting 600 mph in a floating tin can…

For the agoraphobic meth-head who yearns for the judgement-free companionship of a yorkipoo:20140107-020000.jpg

For the experienced man who knows that making love to an R2D2 unit without voice recognition technology just feels cheap:20140107-020118.jpg

For the discerning lady who knows the difference between “fukk me” pajamas and “I’m on my period” pajamas:20140107-021736.jpg

For the peeping tom who knows that a picture is worth a thousand jack-offs:20140107-020648.jpg

For the gentleman who can’t decide between a sweet rim job and a salty rim job:20140107-020922.jpg

For the new neighbor looking to make his front yard scream “hey, we bury humans here!”: 20140107-021040.jpg

For the recent grad of the Jerry Sandusky School of Landscape Architecture:20140107-021211.jpg

For the prankster who wants his neighbor to think there’s a family of decomposing Travelocity gnomes in his backyard:20140107-021248.jpg

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