Metal As Fukk Honeymoon Spots

Yeah, the wedding was great and all. But you don’t really knows if she’s the one until you see her take a machete to a Congolese child soldier…

Pompeii
Newlyweds can breathe new life into the city’s famous brothels. Even through all the ash, you can still smell the hepatitis.

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Pyongyang
Nothing’s more romantic than a little two-on-two bball with The Worm and a pudgy 4-foot-tall dictator. Fine, you gayboys can be skins.

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South Sudan
Couples in need of a post-nuptial detox can try the two-week ethnic cleanse. By day two you’ll want to kill yourself. By day six you’ll forget you ever lived with concentrated carbs – or Dinkas.

Mogadishu
Home of the classic “Pirates of the Horn of Africa” flume ride. It’s just like Disneyland’s version, but this time the whole “rape and pillage” part is a little more in-your-face. Drink up, me hearties yo ho!

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Fukushima
Catch some killer waves with the entire beach to yourself! And that tail will really come in handy when you’re grinding a gnarly barrel, brah.

Fallujah
Don’t let all the Al Qaeda flags and dead Americans in the street fool you, it’s a really tourist-friendly town. Now don’t be shy!

Honduras
Sure, this tiny country is home to two of the top five “Murder Capitals of the World.” But before you’re decapitated and tossed into a mass grave, you’ll take in one of the most beautriful sunsets on earth.

Benghazi
You’ll never believe the dirt-cheap rent on this downtown villa – complete with Its own private pool! And very friendly neighbors.

Old Yugoslavia
Plan a drug-fueled fukkfest in one of the country’s many abandoned Soviet monuments. It’s like a sexy shrine to genocide and political corruption.

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